If you are like Kenny and are not familiar with the practice of “dog shaming,” please go here to provide a modicum of context for this post title and forthcoming story.
My iron has some incontinence issues.
Usually it’s a good iron and does what I tell it to, but occasionally it finds the need to express itself, uh, “creatively.”
My desire to iron, which is usually dangerously close to zero normally, got even lower every time I thought about this problem.
Something had to be done, which leads us to today’s story.
I kidnapped this piece of fabric from my mother’s basement and have been hoarding it for a while. This was the perfect opportunity for me to do something with it, instead of “saving it for something special,” which I am wont to do with awesome things like candy bars and art supplies and nice lotions. I was the kid who loved stickers but would never stick them on anything because I was saving them…and then before I knew it, stickers weren’t cool anymore.
Now that you all have that intimate glimpse into my inner psyche, let’s move on.
I took a deep breath and began chopping.
I wasn’t super exact, because that’s not my style, but I cut around the board leaving 2.5″ to 3″ of fabric on every side.
Next I hemmed it all the way around with a 5/8″ seam, which left me with something that slightly resembled an ironing-board cover.
Next comes the ironic part (and the pun).
I had to iron the ironing-board cover.
At this point, I wanted to string elastic through the hem. I had no elastic.
But I also wanted to get the project finished.
So I went a little crazy and just used string.
Attempt at your own risk. Elastic would really work better for this.
Even though this didn’t look at all like a successful project at this point, I stuck with it to the end.
I slapped that cover on my board and tied the string tight (but in such a way that I can untie it to get it off and wash the whole contraption, should my iron have another “accident.”)
Now, basically all I want to do these day is iron things.
Actually, in the interest of full disclosure, that’s untrue. But I am more motivated to do so when I think about this little gem I created.
I’m also brainstorming ways to use this in a table setting, perhaps as a centerpiece. I can’t bear to hide this beaut in a closet any more.
Someone please come and save me from myself.