Today, I am letting you in on a little secret: I used to be SUPER CUTE and PHOTOGENIC.
And then middle school hit, and everything went downhill.
Now that I’m in my twenties, I can look at middle school me without wincing, but I am NOT at the point where I am ready to share those pictures with the internet at large. Nor are you mentally, physically, or spiritually prepared to see them.
No, today, I cap it at first grade but offer you an intimate glimpse of my younger days. Here we go.
1. Introducing: Young Anne. I’ve still got those dimples…why did you think Ken married me?
2. Young Anne was a food connoisseur. Old Anne is fine with frozen pizza and leftovers for breakfast.
3. Young Anne was an entrepreneur. Do you see that intense look of concentration on my face? I’m figuring out the best way to market this truckload of corn. Pretty sure I settled on the strategy of “smiling adorably.”
4. Young Anne was ahead of the trends stylistically. In fact, I was so ahead of the trend, I’m still waiting to see applique make its debut on the runway.
5. Young Anne enjoyed physical activity like stair climbing. Old Anne sits in an office cubicle from 8-5 becoming more and more chair-shaped as the days go by.
6. Young Anne quickly learned the delights of baking. Old Anne still delights in baked goods. However, Young Anne had quite a racket going where Mom would do all the grunt work and she would lick the beaters. I’m still training Ken to do that for me.
7. Young Anne had a perfect pose for every photograph and no qualms about getting into vehicles with bearded strangers. Old Anne knows better.
And then, all of a sudden, Young Anne grew up. There are a few perks, like driving and deciding one’s own bedtime, but overall? Meh. Being a grown-up is overrated. Young Anne had it made.