15 Search Engine Terms People Have Used to Find My Blog (in which I unsuccessfully try to tamp down narcissistic tendencies)

31 Days of Lists 400px graphic no subtitle

 

 

This month, I’m participating in The Nester’s “31 Days of Change” project. The challenge: to write every day for 31 days! Click here to read more and to see what other listy-things I’ve been up to.

 

 

 

 

Blogging and blog reading are my current fave hobbies. It’s great: you can find tons of people who entertain you. And if you find someone who doesn’t float your boat for whatever reason, you can just click away! It’s that easy.

But one of my very favorite parts of blogging is the search engine terms people use to find this ol’ blog. It is pretty hilarious. Which brings me to my next list: the most awesome ones from the past few months. (Someday I should do things I’ve searched for in Google…pretty sure it would be completely hilarious and utterly embarrassing yet wholly entertaining. But I’m skeeeeered.)

And, because writing is kind of my thing, I couldn’t help but leave my own commentary. My apologies.

 

1. where to hang van gogh paintings

(The bathroom, duh. This person probably found what he/she was looking for, as my blog surprisingly discusses this very topic.)

2. art a day in monsoon

(If you’re in a monsoon, what better activity to engage in than art? Smart.)

3. woman checking out men

(I am guilty of checking out my husband frequently…hubba hubba…but I have NO idea why Google directed them to my blog. PROMISE.)

4. how to anger heavy curtains on drywall

(Why pick a fight with an innocent curtain?)

5. theologian trading cards

(I actually may have mentioned these on the blog once. Why yes, we own these.)

6. painted drawer knobs for grown ups

(Flattered: I do usually try to decorate in an adult manner.)

7. brass knuckles homemade

(MOST RIDICULOUS SEARCH EVER. THEY DID NOT FIND WHAT THEY WERE LOOKING FOR. I CAN’T HELP YOU, SIR/MADAM.)

8. 1995 computer

(Oh yeah, I did post a sweet picture of young blogger Anne once upon a time.)

9. ice cream aisle

(What a delightful way to stumble upon my blog! I can only guess that the search term directed them to my bachelorette party?)

10. chaco tan line

(I’m very proud of younger me. You know, before I lived in a cubicle and actually saw the sun once in a while.)

11. rustic barn lime green

(I thought lime green was invented in the early 1980s, which means that this search term makes no sense at all.)

12. printing fake meijer receipts

(I was not aware of this particular scam/predicament/thing. The big question: WHY?)

13. ruined painting

(This searcher absolutely did not find what they were looking for. I hope. Right? Oh goodness. Off to read the archives again and reexamine my life…)

14. angry guy saying no

(Kenny says “no” a lot before I convince him with well rationed arguments and logic. But angry? I was unaware. Ken? KENNY? KENNNN?)

15. bottle planting

(Folks, this is not the way to get your bottles to reproduce. The only way to do that is by drinking more wine. Or, um, sparkling grape juice.)

 

If this list doesn’t convince you to start a blog, you might be a robot. People are funny. Search engines are funny. Being on the receiving end of Google search terms: priceless. Or something like that. ;)

4 Comments

  • This was great, Ann! I loved these – especially “brass knuckles” and “ruined painting”. Your life is cray :P I looked at my search terms and found my top 10 weirdest ones. I don’t understand any of them except #7 and #9.

    1.bone collector lunch box
    2. frog decor on my window sill
    3. blue body yellow eyes
    4. too hot to sleep
    5. i love pier one gillian loveseat but i want arms on it find me one similar
    6. arnold schwarzenegger siesta house
    7. shop cheetah jeggings
    8. why are cracks in the highway so evenly spaced
    9. the previous chairlady
    10. growning up in bus

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