10 Plants in Our Home (in which I share an exposé of the most shocking variety)

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This month, I’m participating in The Nester’s “31 Days of Change” project. The challenge: to write every day for 31 days! Click here to read more and to see what other listy-things I’ve been up to.

 

 

 

I’ve been collecting quite a motley crew of plants around these parts, and its time I introduced everyone. Note: my mother will be ashamed (she really did  raise me better than this), but I am forging ahead despite her certain cringing.

1. Fake orchid from Kohls.

I can barely keep a real plant alive; let’s be honest. And a real orchid? NOPE NOT HAPPENING.

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2. Fake orchid #2 from Kohl’s. Yes, they’re a pair!

Funny story about orchids: I was once tasked  with taking care of my roommate’s (completely healthy) orchid for a few days. Around day two, the flowers began INEXPLICABLY falling off, and by the time she got back, it was just the stem. I HAVE NO WORDS. Oh, it was a gift from her boyfriend, to make matters worse.

I KILLED THE SYMBOL OF THEIR LOVE.

Moving on.

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3. and 4. Then there’s this pair. In the back we have a fake stem, and in the front there are some dried billy buttons. THEY WERE ONCE ALIVE, for the record.

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5. Ah, here’s something from the land of the living! I have managed to keep this bamboo plant alive for almost a year. Pretty proud of myself.

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6. and 7. I actually have two (living!) bamboo plants. There are also some sticks there on the right that are from IKEA. They were purchased dead, so I was not asked to keep them alive, which is for the best.

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8. Oh, and there’s this gorgeous brooch bouquet with fake flowers lying around that I really have no idea what to do with (other than exploit pictures of it on my blog).

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9. And then there’s the terrarium. This thing has died numerous times on me and, well, I didn’t have the heart to resurrect it after its most recent death. That’s why we have a glass jar filled with dirt on the top of our dresser.

The only green left is from a plastic dinosaur I placed under the leaves of some succulents.

I am ashamed.

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10. And that’s not even all, I’m afraid.

I have also not thrown out the bridesmaid bouquet from my friend Lorie’s wedding. Which was almost a month ago. It’s looking decidedly droopy and is not helping with the fruit fly war we are currently waging.

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And there you have the State of the Plants, October 2013 edition.

I am hanging my head in shame.

If you see me in person, we must never speak of this, okay?

That is all.

Please validate me by leaving a comment.